Death is not Dying

Not too long ago I ran across – quite accidentally – a video of a young woman named Rachel Barkey.  Rachel is dying from cancer.  Earlier in the spring she gave a talk at her church entitled Death is not dying.  It was powerfully moving.  It was made more moving when I’d mentioned it on our Alpha USA leadership team’s monthly phone conference.  Gerard Long, who coordinates the Alpha USA work, told me that Rachel was his friend for whom we’d been praying.  I was shocked.  From time to time I check her site to see what’s new.  Here’s a bit of a letter she wrote at the beginning of the month:

After a few weeks of feeling like I’d plateaud a bit (i.e. a few less bad days, a few more predictable days), I feel like I’ve turned a bit of a corner again. I’ve been struggling with dizziness, difficulty breathing and more pain in my head. It also seems to be affecting my eyesight now too as I often have trouble focusing. I have had to up my pain meds significantly to deal with the pain in my shoulders, sternum and abdomen. The meds I’m on have been very effective but it does feel like things are continuing to progress. “Does it feel like you’re dying?,” some have asked. The answer is yes.

 

And I am finding that my greatest challenge and what occupies my thoughts most these days is how to finish well. All the little things that I battle daily seem to loom larger in the waiting of each day and moment as my impatience and selfish tendencies rush to the forefront of every thought and activity.

 

So my challenge is to finish well. And it seems I am to do this by waiting. Appropriately, I found this verse in Lamentations:

 

“It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

 

Waiting. Quietly. It is a good thing apparently.

 

I have added it to my To Do list…

 

Read the rest.

And say a prayer.