Happy Father’s Day

Here are 10 things you’ll never hear a Dad say:

1.  Whaddya wanna go and get a job for?  I make plenty of money for you to spend.

2.  Here honey, you use the remote.

3.  I noticed that all your friends have a certain “up yours” attitude . . . I like that.

4.  Here’s my credit card and the keys to the car – go crazy.

5.  What do you mean you wanna play football?  Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

6.  Your Mom and I are going away for the weekend . . . you might want to think about throwing a party.

7.  I don’t know what’s wrong with your car.  Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies – you know – that makes it run or something.  Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

8.  No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring – now quit complaining and let’s go to the mall.

9.  Let’s watch the Oxygen Channel tonight.

10.  Honey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.