Just saw this book at Barnes & Noble and now today I run across a CNN story/interview with the author. The book? “Lori Gottlieb’s Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. In the CNN interview Gottlieb says:
There’s a survey in the book where men and women are asked, “If you got 80 percent of everything you wanted — of your ideal traits in a mate or partner — would you be happy?” The majority of women said, “No, that’s settling,” and the majority of men said, “Eighty percent? I’d be thrilled; that’s a catch.” So the question is: Is getting less than everything we want truly settling?
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thanks for pointing this out!
Like this.
I am so flawed, why would I expect him not to be? On the other hand I have put up with abusive behavior in a past relationship and I need to find a balance. Knowing what I know now would I take 80% of the traits I wanted? In a skinny minute!
Mere Idolatry. A sad one too. Idolatry of an idol that doesn’t really exist.
Great article – thanks for sharing – and very timely.
Graduate school at USC = compulsory Gender Theory class for me. I went to a talk by Judith Halberstam (author of Female Masculinity), who cited this book as an example of the “Crisis of Heterosexuality”. Despite being quite a brilliant thinker (though I don’t agree with her theories, clearly), even *she* interpreted this book to say “Marry the first guy off the street and you’ll be happy!”
I think this book could prove to be a dangerous read for women who are at the point that they feel it *necessary* to read it, and I believe in general it is quite risky for any Christian to consult secular guides for relationship advicel. I picked up the book to peruse, and I think her CNN interview demonstrates that she’s not saying “Go marry the next guy you meet,” but it could (and probably will be) read by women who are craving relationship as a temptation to attach themselves to someone who is below-par.
I’m still totally in agreement that most girls need some kind of “Get real” wake up call when it comes to expectations. Maybe when I finish school?
Lydia, welcome to my neighborhood! I hope you’re well at school. Thanks for your input in this discussion. Thoughtful and thought-provoking.
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