Pirate Mass

Jacqui and I spent the weekend in Myrtle Beach. We were supposed to be in DC for the cherry blossoms. Sadly, her work schedule changed and we couldn’t make it. So, we started thinking about where we could go and Myrtle Beach fit the bill.

We used the occasion to drop in on Trinity Church to visit the Sturdy’s. It was a very nice morning. We arrived early and we were greeted no less than 7 times by various church members, one welcomed into the parish hall for some pre-service coffee and bagels. Rob (Sturdy, the Rector) has the church doing Morning Prayer through Lent (a nice surprise) and preached a very nice sermon on Communion (it should be posted on his blog shortly).

Our visit also gave me the chance to talk about his new “Pirate Mass” which he wrote about on his blog this past Friday (April 1). Here’s an excerpt:

Over the past few years Trinity Church has really led the way in innovative church growth strategies. Perhaps the most successful church growth initiative over the past three years has been the hiring of young newlyweds and encouraging nature to take its course. Our church has grown tremendously over the reproductive efforts of its youngest staff.

“It was a hard job,” said Hunter Jordan, the church’s youth minister. ”But we were committed to the growth strategy at Trinity. I think the results speak for themselves.”

Recently however, Rev. Rob Sturdy announced the end of this initiative, at least in his own family.

“I think four is plenty,” said Sturdy. ”David and Genivieve, plus Hunter and Iain…I mean that’s a pretty hefty load for any parent. I’m stretched just a bit too thin. It’s time for us to come up with a new strategy for church growth.”

What then is this new strategy?

“Pirate Mass,” Sturdy says with a confident smile. ”Everyone knows of the outrageous success the Episcopal Church has enjoyed through things like the “Clown Mass” (click here to see the clown mass). The Episcopal Church has shown that what seekers, especially young people really crave is an experience of God in the Clown Mass. But times are a changin’. Trinity prides itself on being on the cutting edge of outreach and evangelism and to be quite frank, I think Clown Mass has seen its day. The next big thing will be the Pirate Mass.”

It’s one of the more creative pieces of satire I’ve read (except for the bits about the “Puppet Mass” and the “Clown Mass” – those are real).

Read the rest.